


Aurora of the found

by primaryglitch



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:48:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22653508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/primaryglitch/pseuds/primaryglitch
Summary: The weight of her past and the notion of her further fell heavy on Ahsoka's shoulders as she gazed into the force for answers. She felt as if the force had abandoned her for years, but it had awaken. And with it, an old friend.
Kudos: 15





	Aurora of the found

Meditation had become harder and harder over the years. Before, she had found comfort in it, being able to release her emotions into the force and gain clairvoyance. Yet now, despite her best efforts, her emotions only haunted her. Memories would mold together, mixing her most treasured with those that only held misery creating a hellish amalgamate of her past. She had given it up, for a time. But the force had been calling to her as of late and she found herself unable to deny it. 

Instead of her memories and emotions assaulting her, she was able to visualize the force. She had not used such a technique in years, she had only done so under her former master’s guidance but not without great difficulties. The few times she had managed to glimpse at her cognition of the force, it was like the lights that would dance across the sky of Shili. She had felt conflicted at first, as she had given up Shili to be with the Jedi, shouldn’t the Jedi’s home, Coruscant, be her picture of the force, not a planet she barely knew? He hadn’t shared her worries, responding that it was not shameful to have ties to your homeland. 

She had believed him but kept his words to herself. She knew he had been truthful and she felt more connected to the force and more connected to him, but it was their secret. The council would not approve, for she had never seen another Jedi say anything of the sorts. Her master was unorthodox, but so was she. It was their first connection to each other after all. In the end, their little secrets over the year helped her decide to follow her heart and take her own path. In the end, such secrets might have been twists in his path caused him to forget this path, to stray into the darkness. She had looked to the force for such answers, but it had been silent.

But now, the force came to her as an all-consuming maelstrom of sand. The harsh winds and heated glass tore at her mind, forcing its way in and ingraining itself in every corner. Amidst the turbulence, she could tell the storm was coming to a climax. She tried to peer into the eye to see what could possibly be causing such immense unrest in the force but was constantly forced back. The sand overcame her vision, blocking out any clarity as the force itself roared. But then, the storm broke. The winds lingered but slowed, the sand dissipating until the winds blew over and were able to settle.

And then, finally, a clear sky with the two suns hanging low in the sky until disappearing behind the horizon. The night came, but the sky was clear and bright with galaxies. It was beautiful and warm despite the night, the breeze hugged and comforted her. All was calm, but only for a moment before her world shattered.

_Ahsoka._

She knew that voice, one that she thought she would never hear again. And within it, she could hear so many things. The warmth and affection that he had shared with her during those scarce quiet moments when the war faded away. The pride he openly shared when she had performed well, no matter how small of a feat. The sadness and regret he couldn’t hide when she had told him she was leaving, that she had to find her own way. And then, something she had never heard before. A relief far greater than words could describe as if the heaviest of shackles had been lifted.

And she supposed, they had been. The shackles that had held him to the emperor, perfectly clear by that hellish suit he was forced to wear, were no longer. However, so too were the shackles that had been invisible to her. Those which the Jedi had trapped him in, the ones that she had seen all too clear on her own wrist during the trial. And then ones even older, ones he had been born with. She had pieced together enough about his life in slavery to know so, from the little he had told her. While she had never paid much mind to those comments at the time, over the years she had mediated many times over all she could remember brought to bring to light all the things she had overlooked. All that had been left unsaid between them. She had assumed that it would remain that way and she would carry her regrets to her grave.

She had so many questions- how was he here? Why was he? How could he possibly look as he did? How did he find her? Could this just be a cruel trick of her mind, fate’s cruel joke? But as she looked at him, they all faded away. None of that mattered now, all that mattered was the man in front of her.

“Anakin?” she managed to whisper, her voice cracking. Her voice was thick confusion and desperation, a deep longing for him to be real. But her eyes, even the force itself, could be playing a joke crueler than even her imagination could fathom. She knew better than to hope for miracles, if she wanted miracles she would have to make her own, that much had become clear to her over the years. Cynicism, maybe, but she had found it to be true. She hadn’t been able to bring him back from the Emperor’s clutches. There were no miracles she could make to bring Anakin back to her. He had to be an illusion of her own making.

But illusion or not, she wanted him to stay. It was the closest she had come to seeing his face in years, even with the blue light cast over him. Not Darth Vader, but Anakin. He didn’t look like he had the last time she saw him, those yellow eyes characteristic of the Sith were replaced with his blue, but now they were brilliant as kyber, standing out even against the blue shaded over his skin. Otherwise, he looked untouched by the passage of time. The force swirled around him, carrying his emotions to her in the purest form. For the first time in years, perhaps the first time in forever, there was complete honesty between them. 

He smiled sadly at her as if to say he knew. As if he knew all the pain she had endured over the years. All the regret and shame that she carried as a burden she thought she deserved. As if he knew how hard it was to know that the man she had grown so much with was the very same who inflicted so much pain and suffering across the galaxy. As if he knew how painful it was to not be able to hate him no matter how many deaths he caused. As if he knew how it tore her apart to still love him, after everything.

She believed his gaze, she didn’t need the force to whisper its truth to believe him. It was perhaps her greatest fault to see the best in him. 

When he placed his hand on her shoulder and kneeled in front of her so they were face to face, she saw him as she never had before. No longer master and apprentice, no longer servant and fulcrum, only Anakin and Ashoka.

She cried as she had never been allowed to before, not even when she was a youngling, and fell forward towards him. He caught her and held her in a way he hadn’t dared to when they had been in the Order. He clung to her as desperately as she did to him. She couldn’t recall everything she said as she cried out apologies and accusations and admissions. He held her through it all, silent, but with the force between them, she felt him more clearly than ever.

She had fallen into wordless sobbing, and only when her cries began to settle did she notice he was shaking as well. When she pulled back, she saw tears trailing down his face. But he did not look sad, no, he looked the opposite. He smiled at her genuinely and brought his hand to her cheek.

_I’m so proud of you, Ahsoka, far more than you could ever know. At such a young age, you knew how to forge your own path. I cared for you like a sister, like a daughter, yet I had forgotten- no, ignored, what you had given me. I will never be able to express how badly I regret it and how badly I had hurt you. But you are light that shines stronger than any sun, you are brilliant in your soul. Continue to stay true to yourself, make your own destiny as I know you can._

She reached up and clasped her hand over his, holding it there. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks at his words, she didn’t try to hold them back at all. There was no need, nothing to hide between them. She took a shaky breath and nodded, not taking her eyes off him for a second.

Anakin took her other hand in his and pressed their foreheads together before speaking again.

_Our time like this is short, but Ahsoka, I’ll always be here for you. You can always find me in the force. I won’t leave you, never again. I love you, Snips._

And with that, he faded away. Ahsoka cried out at the loss and reached out for him as if she could pull him back from thin air. But she was not met with nothing, the force cradled her and within it, she felt him just as he had said. Despite the millions of other beings that had become one with the force, she could still make out his unique signature. Even as time passed, his signature became no less pronounced. She finally let relief flow through her knowing she wouldn’t lose him again, yet felt a profound sadness at the same time. While she had known that the man who had appeared out of thin air in front of her couldn’t have been the same who relied on that ancient respirator, she had pushed such to the back of her mind. Yet feeling him now, she could not deny it. He was one with the force now.

As she was left with her revelation, she became aware of the weight resting in her hand- the very same which Anakin had taken. She took a sharp breath, not knowing how to prepare what he had left for her. She tried to center herself before uncurled hand to face what Anakin had decided that she must have.

In her hand two kyber crystals- one red, one green- both of which should have been lost to the sands of time. She didn’t need the force for her to know where they had come from. The two little crystals spoke to her, their meaning not lost on her. Her original kyber, just as mystifying as it had been when she first saw it, carried the memories of how Anakin had treated her as family. And Anakin’s kyber, red as if colored by his bloodstained hands, carrying his memories as he filled the role of Vader. The light from each piece mingled in her palm, overlapping and intertwining until they were inseparable. Despite the fact that natural and artificial kyber should have never come together if not while clashing blades, it was a beautiful display.

The light they had created was entirely new. He was not a Sith and she was not a Jedi, because together they had what neither alone could create. Both hers and Anakin’s lives were tied together since the day their paths crossed. These two kyber- they were relics of chapters in their lives that were now closed, but not lost, not meaningless. She could carry them with her, not as burdens but as guides as she goes forth.

For the first time in years, Ahsoka felt not only at peace, but as if she had the key to her own shackles.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to have the titles mirror twilight of the apprentice, as Ahsoka and Anakin had come together once again. I always felt that the fall of Anakin had left a deep wound on Ahsoka, she had come to him when she was so young and gre up with him, forced to mature far fast than she should have been due to the war.
> 
> Originally, I had wrote this because of prompting of a friend, but I cleaned it up a little and thought I would share since the last season of the clone wars are coming out soon.


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